Preventing Rape

Everyone at IPFW has to take a rape prevention course, and that's what this post is responding to.  This post is going to cover some heavy topics, including abuse, rape, and (gasp!) my sex life.  If that sounds like too much for you, check out these cute bunnies instead: http://dailybunny.org/ (Seriously, they are adorable.)

My commitment to sexual safety and well-being begins with me.  I love my girlfriend very much, and that love is unconditional.  What I mean by that is, if they don't want to do something, we don't do it.  At all.  Maybe they don't want to have sex for a week, a month, a year, ever?  That's okay.  I'd honestly rather have no sex than bad sex.  I'd rather see their smiling face every morning, than guilt them into reluctant sex and the hurt feelings that follow.  I know they feel the same in return.

We both are rape survivors.  One day I was one of those people who had never been raped, and the next I was asking my husband why he didn't listen to my demands to stop hurting me.  (Protip: there's no good answer to that question.)  My girlfriend's stories are their own, but were based in an incorrect belief that certain people with certain anatomy are incapable of being raped.  My experiences with sexual violence don't define me, but they were difficult parts of my life, and I would never want to make anyone else feel the way I felt.

I already mentioned one way I am committed to a nonviolent approach to relationships: sex is always a benefit of, not a condition for, relationships.  Some other principles I carry with me are a constant checking in with my partner for how they're feeling.  Do you like what I'm doing?  Is there something you'd prefer instead?  Talk!  Be prepared at any moment to switch to cuddles and reassurance.

I need to have a healthy sexual relationship with... myself.  Quite frankly, if I want something done right, I can do it myself.  There's no shame in that, and a healthy relationship partner will recognize that.  Nobody has the right to pressure me to put an end to "me time", and I have no right to pressure anyone else to press pause on their own sexual relationship with themself either.  So if I don't need someone else to get the job done for me, that means I can focus on what is healthy and fun for all of us.

Even though this blog post was about sexual responsibility in particular, these sorts of caring behaviors can be applied to many different aspects of relationships.  For example, just as I have no right to make sexual decisions for my partner(s), I have no right to make other relationship decisions for them either.  I have a tendency to run a tight schedule, and when I neglect to consult my girlfriend on their time and attention needs, they are left out and hurt by the decisions I have made for them.  As long as we are both bringing our needs and wants to the table, with mutual respect and understanding, we will be able to find a solution that maximizes everyone's needs and wants.  We both deserve nothing less, and really that's the foundation that makes our love so sweet.  ❤

Scholarship Essays

It's difficult trying to convince an anonymous panel of judges to give me money.  I need the money, so I'll put in the effort!  It feels so weird having to write about myself as honestly as possible, but in a way that says "I will use the money you give me for the reasons you wish to give it to me" without sounding fake or whatever.

Section 7. Essays

What are your educational and career goals?  How do you plan to achieve them?
My career goal is to serve as an accountant, and my educational goal is to attain the degree in accounting I need to support that career goal. I already have an associates in business, so now I am building upon that educational base. I am a dedicated student who takes every minute of my studies just as seriously as if it were my occupation, because in a sense it is. Once I achieve my educational goal, I also have years of relevant workplace experience I can bring with me to strengthen my future career path and secure stable employment.

Describe why you have chosen your course of study and how you plan to use a higher education to 1) pursue a career, and 2) serve your community.
My course of study is a continuation on my previous workplace experiences. After graduating high school, I immediately entered the US Air Force as an intelligence analyst. There I learned the office skills I was able to take with me to my next places of employment, including the 6 years I worked as a licensed insurance CSR for a small business. That position involved some basic accounting, but I realized that the only way I could achieve accounting as a career goal was through higher education. Once I attain that, I can use my skills to strengthen business in the community. I also intend to connect with charities and nonprofits in the community to offer accounting services on a volunteer basis as I am able.

Describe an aspect of your character you would like the scholarship committee to consider.
My defining virtue is that I have a strong commitment to community. Wherever I am in life, be it in the workplace, a religious community, a support group, or among family, I ask myself "what can I do to strengthen this community and help us grow?" Sometimes this looks like putting in hours of labor for basic support, and sometimes it involves helping come up with and implementing new ideas. I am happy to lead or to follow as my skills are best suited, and I try to reach out to other community members to connect them with areas in which their skills can reach their fullest potential as well. The communities I am in enrich my life in so many ways, and it is my duty to commit myself to the well-being of the people who share that community with me.



(Please give me money.)